In its simplest sense, good timing is about being synchronised with something or someone to produce the best effect possible. How, though, do we regulate this? Can we, even? Or do external influences and pressures interfere? How much of our timing is down to chance or flukes? Good timing is different to punctuality, which is solely about arriving or leaving at the agreed time. Easier to master, since much of it is about our ability to manage time-keeping – a one-sided process. Good timing involves the dynamic of relationships, and expectations that may differ from ours.
We may have a burning issue to discuss with a colleague, a boss, a friend, a spouse or partner. We wait for the ‘right time’ to broach the topic. This often serves as an excuse to delay the conversation, offering temporary relief. We feel timing must be right or else it could go the wrong way, or back fire altogether. Meanwhile the other party may be oblivious of our need to be synchronised on this particular issue.
Good timing is slipping away, and nothing is resolved. This rarely ends well, as our burning issue burns more fiercely. Frustration abounds. Motivation plummets. Negativity festers. It is up to us, where possible, to instigate a dialogue, surely. To pave the way for synchronised timing (theirs and ours) to become a possibility.
If we know the person involved, and what motivates them, we can engineer an opportunity.
1. Catch them at a time we’re sure they’re more relaxed, more receptive
2. Approach them in a neutral space, where pressures and stresses are less prevalent
3. Turn an unexpected crossing of paths into the time and place to bring things up
4. Use language that prepares them to be on the same page
Such as, “There’s a very important subject I wish to discuss with you (now), that affects us both/all”; “There’s something on my mind that I really hope you can help me with (now)”; “I could do with your undivided attention (now) on a subject close to my heart”; “I have a matter that I’ve been meaning to talk to you about. It would be great to do it now.”
The essence is to convey immediacy, and some shared responsibility about the ‘timing’ of the discussion. Ostensibly, there’s an element of ‘forcing’ good timing here. All the more reason to make the most of the window created. With practice these situations become more natural.
Inevitably we are bound to experience the occasional happy consequence of being in the right place at the right time, through no apparent effort of our own. Elation at this kind of (cosmic) synchronicity is welcome. It leads to all sorts of fulfilling moments. Like walking out of a meeting, just as the sun turns to light up the houses across the street, making them gold.
© Amanda Yensa Manor 2015